Monday, June 29, 2009


Hello,Alma Sue Sussman, my mother died at around 9pm on Monday June 29,2009.I am an ass.What a piece of shit of a son and person I am.All those years I did not speak with my mother.Years wasted by my selfish attitude.I just can not believe she is gone.I took alot of pain killers and smoked tonight.I just needed to stop crying and fell a little better. I am tired from the drugs but exhausted from the mental anguish of the day.I really do not want to remember the events of today or or relive any experience.My life has got to start to getting better because this has to be rock bottom. If it is not rock bottom, then I do not want to live at all.I just can not take it,I am not strong.My emotions are very fragile feel like a child.It is after 3am here Tuesday morning and some how I am still awake.I am definitely in the denial stage . I really can not believe this day has come. Anyway tomorrow is a better day, I Hope......


  1. I'm sorry for your loss, Dave. You have a right to a grieving period but your Mother would not want you to continue in your present frame of mind. So slap yourself upside your head and get on with life! She lived hers, it's time for you to live yours.

  2. I'm very sorry for your loss, Dave. Unfortunately, this will hurt for a while, but time does heal things. Be sure to surround yourself with family and friends for the next few days as that can be a great comfort.

  3. Dave so sorry to hear the news of your mother. It is never ever easy to see the passing of a mom. I sure hope you can get some good counseling to help you thru all these tough times. It sometimes takes time to find the right one but you can be sure there is someone who is out there to help you.
    My condolences to you and your family. Thinking of you.

  4. Dave, so sory to hear about your mother. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Take the time to greive, it is something we all need to do. If you need help, please find someone that will talk with you and help you through the process. I know you will eventually find some peace and your mother would want that for you. Our condolences to your family and yourself. Hugs! Mac & Netters