The Day After

Hello, It as you imagined was a rough day.Did not go to bed til after 5 am and slept til 1pm.My nephew Steve slept over and helped me clean up my place a little bit.Then my sister Donna picked him up to bring him to Joy's place.They did all the arrangements and scheduled the funeral for Friday.At around 3 I cried myself back to sleep and stayed in bed til about 9.I am watching a little TV and writing this post, not much of a day.

THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE !

Hello,Alma Sue Sussman, my mother died at around 9pm on Monday June 29,2009.I am an ass.What a piece of shit of a son and person I am.All those years I did not speak with my mother.Years wasted by my selfish attitude.I just can not believe she is gone.I took alot of pain killers and smoked tonight.I just needed to stop crying and fell a little better. I am tired from the drugs but exhausted from the mental anguish of the day.I really do not want to remember the events of today or or relive any experience.My life has got to start to getting better because this has to be rock bottom. If it is not rock bottom, then I do not want to live at all.I just can not take it,I am not strong.My emotions are very fragile feel like a child.It is after 3am here Tuesday morning and some how I am still awake.I am definitely in the denial stage . I really can not believe this day has come. Anyway tomorrow is a better day, I Hope......

Sucky Sunday!!!

Hello,Today was a day that I have feared since I was a little boy.I went to the hospital around noon.My sister Joy was already in the room with my Mom.I got there and said hello to my Mom.She was out of it, talking and not making sense.She looked much worse then when I went to the hospital last.I lost it just could not stop crying.About 20 minutes after I got there my sister Donna,nephew Shane and his wife Julia arrived.Shane took leave from the air force and flew in last night with Julia.Shitty way to meet my new niece.She was very nice and really did a good job being a part of everything,in a hard situation.

About 5pm me,Donna,Shane,Julia,and Brandon went to the Carolina Ale House for diner.We were all starving from sitting around all day and not eating anything.It was a nice break,which we all needed badly.None of us talked about my Mom the entire meal.It was good to just talk to everyone.It has been a long time since we have all been together at the same time.I had a coupon for a free appetizer which we all shared.I got some chicken wings to munch on and they were yummy.For the first time ever my nephew Shane bought lunch.It was a very nice gesture.

After diner we returned back to the hospital to the fourth floor.There are only 10 rooms which are all hospice.we had to walk by a family that had just lost their loved one.We all lost it but luckily my Mom was sleeping.Mike and Brandon left for the night.Just after Donna,Shane and Julia took off.With just Joy and I left we talked about the situation.Without any mention or asking she handed me some money.She knows how bad that I am struggling financially.It was a surprising and wonderful gesture.I asked her for sometime to be alone with my Mom and say somethings I felt I needed to say.She was alert enough to give me a big hug and exchanged "I love you".As fucked up as I am from this whole situation, must admit I feel a little relieved to have the chance to say some things to my Mom while she is still alive.But,that being said I will have nightmares the rest of my life about the way my Mom looked and acted today.


A few weeks ago I made so comments about being angry with my Mom and other stuff about anger.That is all gone,like it was never there.Funny how priorities and what is important really changes when something so real like this happens.Man I really can not believe just how shaken and fucked up that I am.I feel life a zombie.If I did believe in a God after today I would tell him or her to go fuck himself.How can my Mom be this stranger laying in my mother's hospital bed.I would truly not wish this feeling on my worst if enemy's.Anyway after my phone calls tomorrow,I will head back to the hospital.Not looking forward to that at all.I really hope that traveling in my trailer is my calling because if not I truly do not know if I want to live anymore.I was miserable before going through this with my Mom.I do not want to be around to ever go through this again.My Dad will be 70 in February and just can not stop thinking of him.Anyway, I really can not write any more.See you tomorrow........

Sad Saturday!

Hello,Today was not a good day,although some good things did happen.First, I got up at 9:30 am to make my calls at 10am.Started out great,booking the first person that I talked to.Then around 10:30 my sister Joy called me.She told me that my Mom was real bad and it is almost time.She explained that she was in alot of pain and the hospice will give her enough medicine to go into a coma.All this time that my Mom has been sick it did not seem like she was really sick.I mean knowing she had cancer should have registered but some how I really thought that she would be alright for a while.Now knowing that she is going to die, I feel like a piece of shit of a son.All the complaints and dislike I had for her are forgotten.They just do not matter! I feel like a helpless little boy crying out for his mommy.Part feel foolish,angry,lost,sad,confused,and more emotions all at once.I want to sleep and never dream or wake and never sleep.Tomorrow will be a tough day at the hospital for all of us.

On a much lighter note I got a chance to talk to Phil and he wants to 100% buy my house.We talked about him moving in on August first.Still have alot of details to work out. but we both want the same thing.It is a weird feeling knowing that my life is about to change.I have been wanting to full time for years and now I am scared.I still have to prove to myself that I can actually do it.Never fitting in,really makes it hard to feel confident that I will fit into the RV community.Really hope that this is the direction my life is suppose to take.Well I guess I will never know til I try.See ya........

Air Condition is Back, Again!!

Hello,Sorry that today's post is late.I woke up at Gary's place around 10am ready to make my phone calls.Well think again, some how my plug in charger got messed up and I had no charge on the phone.So got dressed and went to the Verizon store to buy a new charger.I hate going to those stores you sign in and have to wait for help.Then they of course try to sell you a new phone and contract.After over an hour I finally got my plug.Then it was my almost daily trip to CVS for more meds.Of course for some reason or other they were not ready so another half hour wait there.So by the time I returned to Gary's place it was after noon.Then it was time to charge the phone, so did not get to make my calls today.
Went home to take a shower and take my meds,Then I stuck on the television and watched sports center.About 2pm Gary came home from work at Pizza Hut.It was slow so he came home early.We sat and talked for a while and then Tony(person working on my a/c called me.He was working on it and needed me to turn on the unit inside.I clicked on cool a it worked.He double checked everything and it was good to go.So thank goodness, I am back in the normal temperatures instead of the heat.I moved my stuff from Gary's back home and did some wash.Took a shower and went to Frank's house to watch the movie Pink Panther 2.It was silly funny but exactly what the doctor ordered.I felt like a little kid going to the movies to see the original pink panther series.It really was nice to just not think about all the crap going on in my life, for a while.I truly love Frank and Marcy.They are such good people.We always enjoy our time together.Got home at around 11pm and watched a little TV.Another day done, see you tomorrow...

Thursday at Gary's House

Hello,Another day without air conditioning at my house.I spent last night at Gary's and will tonight too.It is a very stressful period of my life right now.Money is tighter then it has ever been,I feel like shit,and my mother is really becoming bad.Joy called me today and told me that my mother was going to be transferred to hospice.It is amazing that I was just getting ready for vacation,a week ago. Now I am stressed more then ever.It is time to really evaluate the importance of things that are in my life,I need to cut lose all the negative influences and thoughts to really make my goals a reality.Nothing today happened worth reporting.

I feel that I am walking aimlessly in the smoke filled fog of the cold bitter night.No light to shine the way,nor fire to warm my bones.Just the part of me that fears the unknown.It is unable to be felt with my hands but looms heavy in my heart and mind.The screams are heard through the darkness.The sounds are ignored and the tears rain.Alone in a crowd or by myself. life mocks me and laughs at my pain.Succeed or travel where time no longer matters.

I felt a little poetic . See you tomorrow....

Burning Hot Wednesday!

Hello,Well forget about the frying pan because today I am right into the fire.It is 90 degrees out with 0 wind and 66% humidity.I tried to do my running around today and take my time doing it,I went to the bank and to blockbuster.Neither one took a great deal of time.Then I stopped to have lunch at Pollo Campero, which is as you guessed a Spanish chicken place.After that it was off to Super Target for food for the kitty's.Then one last stop at yup you guessed it CVS for some meds.Then it was back to my heat box.I still feel very sick and this heat is not helping at all.Some where in the next hour or so, Gary will get home and I will go over and chill at his place for a while.Hopefully my friend Mark is able to pick up the new blower motor so that Tony can replace it and fix my drainage problem.I can not do this again.It is just to hot to play around with not having a/c. Tonight hopefully I will be sitting in my living room with my air working visiting on the chatline. but we will see.....

Missed a couple days Cruising!

Hello,It is now Tuesday and my last post was Thursday of last week.So this will be one super post rather than writing for each individual day.I am so behind on my reading of other journals that I do not know if I will ever catch up.Only 24 pictures made it for some reason so I apologise from the start about the lack of pictures from the trip.


Friday:
I was already to go on my trip well before my brother in law picked me up from my house.Of course in typical fashion in my life just before they got here I started to get sick.Threw up in the bathroom a couple of times and then once in a bag in the car.We stopped for a cold drink and luckily I felt better.We got down to the port about 11:30 and by the time that we parked we got right on the ship.We were greeted with champagne and Orange Juice.We did a little looking around and then it was off to the pizza resteraunf.It was good Tuscan style pizza we had mushrooms, onions and peppers,We each only had a couple small slices.About that time my Dad and Sheila got there and we really surprised them.We sat in the buffet room so they could have lunch and we could chat for a while.Then we all went to our rooms to chill for a little bit and figure out a plan.After being in the room I went up to the 11th floor were the pools and hot tubs were and listened to the live band.My nephew Brandon went for a swim in the pool while I relaxed,looked at the girls and enjoyed the music.We all got together for diner in the formal dining room and tried just about everything.I had jerked chicken and a curry vegetable dish that was so good.After dinner we all made our way to the theater for a comedy and music show.It was such a good time and Brandon was called up on stage for part of the routine.He had to act like a dolphin,so the rest of the trip everyone was calling him the dolphin.They even showed the show over and over on the TV.I stayed up the entire first night and got some great shots of the sun rise.

Saturday:

After not sleeping all night I tried to just keep on going but I needed some sleep.So after my Sister and Mike went to breakfast, I went to lay down.I was very rudely woken up by Mike who had to watch TV right then.Anyway, the weather was so hot that I did not want to even get off the ship in Nassau, but I got a good shot of Atlantis.We all got together for Lobster night at dinner and we munched.I ate 10 yes that's right 10 lobster tails.In my defence they were not very big but they were good.After diner we went to a really good dancing sang singing show.Boy did the time fly by it was already 11o clock at night.So I went to the front of the ship and stared into the dark nothingness of the sea.I went to bed around 3:30 am and decided to miss breakfast again.

Sunday

After I woke up I ended up finding a late breakfast buffet and having a leisurely breakfast looking into the ocean.Then we were anchored just off the coast of a private island.They were running tenders back and forth to the island.I went over to the island but the mix of super hot weather and loose sand made it a nightmare fore me.I took the returning tender and went back to sleep.Being on so many medicines,I can not spend much time directly in the sun.So when I say that .I went back to sleep that means I passed out a sleep.After that it was time for diner again.Then we had time to catch the last show.It was a comedy ace that my Dad got called up on stage.It was so funny!My dad was game and played the tin man from the Wizard of Oz.After the show there was a scavenger hunt type game that was funny.Brandon an I hung out til around 3 talking and enjoying the wind.One thing I forgot to mention some how was the sports bar on the ship.I spent alot of time there watching baseball, the U.S. Open and ate chicken wings.

Monday & Tuesday:

Had to get up early and pack.We had breakfast and a last chance to chat.We checked out and got to the car.I got home around 12 and passed out.I slept all through the night.I woke up in a pool of sweet, my air conditioner is not working again.It is now 86 degrees in my house.I feel sick and can not do anything about it.I am so sick feeling that I will not make phone calls today.So the truth is the trip was great but after has been miserable.I will see you tomorrow

Thursday and Ready to Cruise

Hello,The last night before the cruise.It worked out great, my sister Joy,Mike and Brandon are going to pick me up somewhere between 10-11am.Originally I was going to head north-west to my sister's house.It did not make sense so they will pick me up and Miami is around two hours south.My Dad still has no idea that I am going on the cruise.Talked to him tonight and laid a joking guilt trip on him getting to go on a cruise.Really laid it on thick.He and Sheila will be very happy to see me tomorrow.

Today was kind of a weird day.I made calls and not one person answered the phone.THE NERVE!!So no appointments booked today but I will not worry about that til next Monday.Did not do a heck of alot today.Just laundry and charging my camera.Things to get ready for the trip.I am kind of a last minute person.Not that everything is not ready but I pack on the day I leave.Works for me anyway.That is what is great about the RV you just pack it once and everything is there.And if you do not have it, you can get it.Supposedly, next week I will find out if Phil is going to buy my place or not.Tonight just get everything ready to pack tomorrow morning.Well next time I write I will be cruising.See you then.....

What its Wednesday?

Hello,Well this week is just flying by at flash speed.Only two more nights until the cruise.Today was a nothing much happening day again.I went to CVS,blockbuster,and Franks house.Phil stopped over for a while.I upgraded my air card and it turned out to be free.What happened was I was having trouble with my air card and Verizon gave me two options.One I could get the same card I have and pay $50 to keep my same unlimited plan.Two buy a new usb device and have to change plans to a 5 Gig max plan.So what ended up happening was Frank had a USB card that he gave me and I keep my unlimited plan.In other words they gave me two options ans I took the third.Besides these things nothing else of significance took place.Tune in tomorrow for the last non-cruise day.....

Tuesday in June

Hello,I wish that there was exciting things to share but hey it is only three nights til the cruise.Made my calls in the afternoon today to try to reach those not home in the morning.I had 3 but one canceled, so ended up with 2 appointments for the day.Not bad 7 for the week and it is only Tuesday.Two more working days this week then I have a date with the high seas.

Making my calls in the afternoon also allows me to sleep in a couple extra days a week.Of course at 8 am my neighbor was having his lawn cut.I stayed in bed but never could fall back a sleep.Got up and fed the cats.Then had to go to CVS for more drugs.After that it was on to blockbuster.I love the horror movies so I got the new Friday the 13th and another scary one.Tonight at my house will be Fright Night! I pop some corn, open some soda, turn out all the lights, and pump up the volume.Is it childish Yea but I like it and that's all that matters.It is 90 degrees out and about to storm so hello pain meds.Well I will see you tomorrow...

A Not So Bad Monday

Hello, Well another week begins and another just a memory.Today started out great with me setting 5 appointments for Frank.It was my best day since beginning setting appointments.What is really great is that there is only room for one more spot left for next Monday.Since I will be on the cruise and not making calls on Friday,Saturday or Monday.So that feels good,to almost be done with that.It is funny some days you can not get it touch with any, some days everyone says no appointment is needed, and days like today when everyone said yes, very easily.

After making my calls,I had to run to the bank to deposit the money from Franks the other night.Then I watched the movie Crossing Over.It starred Harrison Ford, who is one of my favorites.I enjoyed it. It was good not great but worth watching.So if you get a chance give it a look.After the movie it was nap time.I took a good two hour nap.Now I am writing this and thinking about diner.I think I'm going to make Chicken Lasagna with some Garlic Bread.There are alot of vegetables in the lasagna, so it is a complete meal.Tonight I will most likely stop in and say Hi to all the chatters in the chatline.Also, I will watch WWE Raw.I know it is silly and fake but it is my male soap opera.Tonight is a 3 hour special, it is usually a 2 hour show, so I am siked.Hey for three hours I do not have to think about my life, its a great escape .Well record another non exciting but at least good day in the annals of my life's history.See you tomorrow......

Sleep in Sunday

Hello, I got home from babysitting around 12:30am.The movie The Dark Knight was on so I had to watch.I love that movie! It was over around 2:30 am and then I had to watch the last hour of Top Gun.so I finally went to bed around 4 in the morning.So I slept until 2 in the afternoon.I got up and made a few phone calls.I talked to my Dad for about fifteen minutes.I was telling him about the great boxing match that I watched last night on HBO.It was a fight that you would see in a movie.Cotto vs Clotty was the fight.Went all 12 rounds and was exciting all the way through.It was the type of match that even people that are not into boxing would have got into it.

I needed some food and other stuff from the store.Super Target was the choice this time.I felt like salsa and they have a much larger jar of the same brand salsa for the same price as other stores.So after spending about $80 there and packing up the car.I unpacked the car and put all my stuff away.Then I went over to Gary's house for about an hour or so.Now I am writing this and have the replay of the fight from last night on in the background.Tonight is another basketball game.It may be the last game of the year if the Lakers win,they win the championship.Five more nights til I'm on the cruise.Yea!Well tomorrow is work in the morning and in the afternoon for a couple of hours.Work meaning making my phone calls for my friend Frank.Do not think it will be an overwhelmingly exciting day, but tune in and find out.....

Babysitting on Saturday Night

Hello,Yes as stated in the title I am babysitting my friends Frank and Marci's little girl Olivia.It is an easy gig because she is put to sleep before they go out.Both of them are so busy with the baby and work that they never get time for dating each other.So last time I was here they asked me if I wanted to babysit for them and I said that I would.Hey to be honest I can use the extra money too.But I would do it for them for nothing if they needed me to because they have been very good to me.They have taken me in as family, which is hard to find in any friendships.

As far as the day went.It was a usual exciting day in my life, once again.Woke up and made my calls and was able to set 2 appointments.Then after having a hard time sleeping last night, I went back to sleep around 1pm.I woke up again around 4pm.I watched some of the Mets vs Yankees baseball game.Stopped by Wendys for a burger and fries.Boy did Olivia love my fries when I got to Frank's house.So she was in a good mood after that, and then soon after it was her bedtime.You might recall her pictures from Memorial day.She is so freakin cute! Tonight I was in the chatroom for a while and got cut off.Sorry Rick it was not intentional that our conversation got cut short.At 10:30 I will watch a boxing match on HBO and I figure around midnight I will head home.I will see you tomorrow.....

Friday Back at Home

Hello,Iam writing this a little early today.Yesterday I was so busy that I did not want to forget to write again.Today was heading home from the trailer day.I thought about staying for the weekend but decided to come home and relax.Not that I was doing alot of manual labor at the trailer but it was time.My sister asked me to stay but there were some things that I wanted to get accomplished before the cruise next week.I spent the morning cleaning the trailer and packing everything up.I left Joy's house around noon and got home just about one.

I unpacked the car and then took my car to go to blockbuster for a couple movies for later tonight.I am beat it was very hot out so packing and unpacking wore me out.I took a nice long shower and got a shave.While I was doing all that I started some laundry and came to write my journal posts.I received a text earlier this morning that Phil found out that he was going to be laid off.It is the latest of cuts by the county because of the economy.So that might be it for his interest in my place.We are suppose to talk later on tonight.Maybe getting my place is what he needs to cut back on his monthly expenses.My luck probably not. So it was a premature happiness for me and let me tell you just how perfect the timing of this news is for me.I am running out of money,I will not be able to pay the bills at this place much longer.The job with Frank is there but it pays slowly so I can not count on that.I need to figure out what I am going to do because the stress is eating me alive.What a way to kill a nice week of relaxation.I am going to put off making any decisions until after the cruise.Well I will let you know tomorrow whats up with my situation.See you then.....

A Little Late but Heres Thursday

Hello,Today started out with me driving one and a half hours to my doctors office.Yes, it is a long drive but Dr.Heller is the best.My appointment was at 11AM and it took about an hour.I then went to a local store in Okeechobee to get a new walking cane.I only had to pay $10 and the rest is paid by medicare.Not to bad at all, and the drug store employees were very nice.

After that I made my way back to my trailer.On the way I had to pee like a race horse, so I stopped at a store and flooded a toilet.Not really but it felt that way.Next door to the supermarket was a Chinese place so I got some food to take back to the trailer.I munched on some chicken lo mien and watched TV for about an hour.After that I got real sleepy and took a couple hour nap.When I woke up my sister was making french onion soup and pork chops for diner.I tell you what it was nice to eat a home cooked meal every night that I was here.My nephew Brandon had a friend spend the night.So he was busy playing games in his room.Mike and I watched the basketball game. Then I talked to a friend of mine from North Carolina named Carrie.We had not talked in a while and she was driving to new york so it gave us a good couple of hours to catch up.Unfortunately, I learned that her 35 year old brother was killed in a hunting accident.It was really sobering knowing that a friend went through that and I was not in touch.After that it was about 2:30 in the morning and it was off to bed.I am going to see you soon...

Wednesday out at the trailer

Hello, Today was a fast day with not alot of activity.Read up on all the appliances and continuous amp power that I can run.My converter is a 45 amp of constant power.So on me 30 amp circuit I can actually run 45 so that is a plus.That is 5400 compared to the usual 3600 watts.Its still not the 12,000 watts you can run on a 50 amp but I will learn to live with it.As long as I can run the TV,satellite and the a/c I'm good to go.Any way I thought that was a neat little fact about my trailer.Since i bought this for some reason I thought it was 35 feet but it is 29feet instead.Weird, i looked at so many and have gone through so much since I bought this in 06.Anyway So I will have a 29 foot trailer on the road,still big enough for me.Well that's about it for me tomorrow is a doctors appointment,see you then.

Tuesday in the Trailer

Hello,I am still out at my trailer.This happens every time that I come out to spend a couple of a days,do not want to leave.Well one day I will not have to go any where without my trailer home.I slept in til noon and then took my nice long shower.Then it was time to make phone calls to set appointments for Frank.Made three appointments calling in the afternoon.

I figured that I would post in my journal earlier today to make sure the pictures of the outside of my trailer got put in.So here I am no real plans the rest of the day except to run to the store for a couple of things.I will probably clean the inside of the trailer up a little bit.At least throw away a bag of garbage and wipe down the counters.It is only 3pm eastern as I write so I have got plenty of time to do whatever.I really want to get in the chat room tonight.It is funny my time here is not busy but time seems to fly by for some reason.The change of scenery and location helps me rewind.I will see you tomorrow....

Monday and Nothing Got Done

Hello.Phil ended up sleeping in and taking the day off of work.It was nice to hang out most of the day without interruption.Usually he has his kids when we hang so it is constantly Daddy this or daddy that.He stayed until about 4PM.After he left the rain came and it was my nap time.I really needed it, we stayed up late talking and joking around.My sister woke ME up in time for diner.Which was good even after working all day Joy made chicken parm,that was yummy.After that we watched TV and hung out til now.I did take some pictures but will post them tomorrow.....

Sunday was a Nice Day

Hello again,I am still out at my trailer.Today I did take pictures of the outside of my trailer but will put them on tomorrows post.It is late and its time for me to get some rest.The day started out around 11AM waking up and having a very nice breakfast,made by my sister Joy.After that Joy went to the hospital to visit my mom. My nephew Brandon and I went out to my trailer to watch a movie.After the movie Brandon went into the house and it was nap time.

My friend Phil came out to help me put on a new tongue jack.It all went well and we were done in about 20 minutes.He stayed for a very nice diner and we watched the basketball game.Joy,Mike and Phil drank wine as we joked around.We used my fire pit and made smore for desert.It was really a nice day.Phil and I talked about the real possibility of him buying my place.It is not a done deal but it is looking good.We will see what happens.He drank enough wine that he crashed on my couch.He has gotta get up at 5AM to go to work.And I am going to bed and will see you tomorrow......

Saturday In the Travel Trailer

Hello,I am writing this tonight late and in my travel trailer.I woke around 9:30AM to the sound of a radio commercial on my alarm.Took a good half hour to wake up and start making my phone calls.I only made one appointment on this Saturday.Well guess it is better then nothing at all.Frank getting sick last week kinda killed my momentum.But, Monday is a new day with new opportunity.So,I pledge to give 100% for the rest of my time helping Frank.No excuses but it has been a stressful time for me.

Well after making my phone calls,it was time to pack up the truck. Got everything over to the trailer a little after 3PM.As soon as I was done getting everything in the trailer it rained with a vengeance.So my brother in law Mike and I visited while drinking some good ice tea.I had not eaten all day grabbed a couple leftover pieces of pizza.Small Little Caesars, not the best but it kept me from getting the shakes.The rain hit a lull for all of about a minute.So, I thought the it was time to visit with my cats in the trailer.They did a good job getting used to being here this time.It is the second time for Lightning,and the third time for Thunder.The first time Lightning was just so difficult to get in the cage,that I said see you in a couple of days.I left a big mound of food and plenty of fresh water.It worked out just fine and now they own the place.

While in the trailer the rain poured again so it was a good time to take some pictures of the inside of the trailer.I took a bunch and I'm posting them all just look at the ones you want.just kidding, it will give you a good idea of what my new soon to be home.I hope you like .....

Lets start at the Front Door

This Cabinet and Entertainment Center is on your Right when you Enter

The Couch- Straight across from Front Door

My Diningroom-Left of the Couch

Kitchen- Across from Diningroom Kitchen with Fridge

Hallway Straigt ahead Bedroom/Closet on left/Bathroom on Right

Bathroom Cabinet-with Reflection of Shower and Mirror

Shower

Bathroom Sink and Counter

The Toilet

Bedroom

Tonight was also a very trying night for me as well.I ended up going to see my mother in the hospital.Both my sisters and my brother in law john where there as well.The other day I said that I did not want to go see her in the hospital.I wish that I would have stood firm on my conviction.She looked aweful and was completely out of it.Also,I was in terrible pain from a combination of things.I did not show emotions in the hospital but tonight truely shook me.Nothing good will come of me going tonight.I felt like a 5 year old boy lost at a carnival looking for his mommy.She was right there in front of me, but unrecognizable.This is not the memory that I want of my Mom.I can not handle these things well.My bad should have gone with my gut feeling.

After leaving the hospital, my sister and nephew Brandon played WII.I went out to the trailer to post this entry.Tomorrow I will take pictures of my family and the outside of my trailer.See you then................

Another Rainy Friday!!

Hello,Well not alot to report today.I over slept and missed my doctors appointment.Made no new appointments. In fact I only left the house one time which was to go to CVS.Exciting day indeed!Talked to a couple of people on the telephone.Joy told me our cruise was officially booked and paid.My dad has no idea that I am going on the cruise with everyone.

It has been pouring most of the day, which makes me feel just so great.My body must have needed the sleep this morning, because I never over sleep an alarm clock.Must be something to do with the rain.I am thinking that tomorrow its time to go out and spend a couple days at my trailer.Was going to go today,but who want to go sit inside during a storm.At least, when there is an option not to be stuck inside the trailer.Probably going to watch movies tonight and chat a little bit.Hopefully there is more to report tomorrow........

Going on a Cruise!!!!

Hello again to the few brave souls that read this journal day after day.As you can see by the title I am going on a cruise.It is on Friday the 19th of June to the morning of Monday the 22nd.We leave Miami at 5pm on Friday night and get off the ship around 10am on Monday.Short and sweet.The sip is part of the Norwegion Cruise Line and the ship is called The Skyy.My sister Joy,Brother in law Mike,nephew Brandon, step mother Sheila and Dad will be joining me.My sister books cruises for a living and got us all a great deal.The 21st is Fathers Day,so at least 2 of the 3 kids will be with him.Donna just moved back down to Florida, so she could not make this trip.I was hesitant at first but now I am pretty excited.

The rest of the day has been pretty normal so fa, as I write this it is 3:28 PM Eastern time.Stopped at CVS again, then filled my car up with gas, and another trip to blockbuster.Talked to my sister and my friend Frank for a while on the phone.Frank and his wife Marcy are thinking of joining us on the cruise.I hope so,they would bring a different element to the mix.Either way it will be a good time.Phil and I did not talk today about my place.We will when the time is right.It will be soon, both of us need to have a plan.I am going to watch a movie, maybe take a nappy poo, then tonight watch the big basketball game.For those of you that do not follow hoops, tonight starts the championship series between the Orlando Magic vs the Los Angeles Lakers.Do not know if I will stop by the chat room tonight,maybe fore a little bit.See you tomorrow.......

A New Day !

Hello, Today I had to get up early.Seven AM comes around real fast when you go to bed late.I got up and got a ride from Gary to my brothers shop.My car was ready to go so it was time to pick it up.Now I have both of my vehicles back, and I'm ready to roll.Was only at the shop for a minute then drove the car over to CVS.Two more prescriptions were ready for pick up.It took a good half hour to get my meds because there was a new pharmacist that ran my cost through my old insurance.So my bill was like 60 something dollars instead of $4.80.So he finally got it fixed and wasted a good bit of my morning.

After that it was home and back to sleep.Then my friend Phil stopped by and talked about the possibility of buying my house.If that happens then Game On, my plans of leaving in August will be back on.It is even possible that the RV-Dreams Rally will be back on too.We will see what happens but this is not a twist that I would have guessed. Still a long way from a done deal, but at least there is hope. The rest of the day I chatted on the phone with a few different people and took it easy.Tomorrow its time to get back to making my calls.I will see you then....

Another Expensive Day !!

Hello again!! Glad you could stop by and check in on me.Today, since Frank is sick, I took advantage of it and slept in.Once my body was able to get up, it was off to blockbuster to rent the latest movies.I got the movies and off to my brothers shop again.Now my car needed a new door handle and a new battery.Another $275 down the drain.Well there goes all my savings for now.So after that I felt completely stressed the rest of the day.Unless I hit the lotto I am not going to be able to do much for awhile.It closes another disappointing chapter in my life.I now realize that I will not be able to go to the RV Dreams Rally in October.Really was looking forward to it, but,what can you do?


I am going to do something but not as long of a trip in distance or time.Today I started to mention the thought of going on a trip with my buddy Phil.Surprisingly he was very much for a vacation.He is going through some personal family problems.So tomorrow he is going to come over and we are going to start to plan a trip.One place we Will both go is to Columbia,SC to see my friend Hibbie.As mentioned in earlier posts, he has about 5 acres in the woods in a city called Gilbert.It is just outside Columbia SC so there are many destinations within a days drive.The dream of going to the Dolphins at the Falcons in Atlanta on September 13 is still alive.It is only a 4 hour trip from Hibbies to Atlanta,GA.Also Charlotte NC is only about 2 hours away and I still know some people there.We will see where I end up going but it will for sure be somewhere.

I will continue to try to sell my place, but I can not afford to just give it away.Luckily I do not owe anything on my place,but I am in a park and have lot rent.It stresses me out to think about all of it. So I will not and let whatever is suppose to be happen, happen.Well that concludes this edition.Hope to see you on the Flip-Side ..............

Expensive Day!

Well Hello no pictures but I was busy all day.I realized that I had not done a blood test for my doctor.So, I had to reschedule my appointment for Friday morning.Then Frank called me to tell me that he was to sick to go on today's appointments.So he rescheduled them for next week and said he is going to take it easy this week.He might do a couple of things on Wednesday or Thursday.My truck was ready from my brothers shop.The bill came to $460, even with a big discount.Ouch!!Then I left there and went to get an alignment and that was another $265.I saved for this a long time, but now the truck is almost done.I still want to get the windows tinted, I have a small leak, and the radio needs to be changed.

I also went to the post office to mail off my prescription to the mail order company.We will see if they actually send them to me this time.Then stopped at publix for soda and some blue bell ice cream.Boy writing about my day it doesn't seem that I was as busy as I actually was today.Well no rambling tonight See you tomorrow......